Life in the Phisch Bowl

Rwanda Day 2

2011-11-22T13:41:00.001-06:00

We had a fantastic day today! We started off at court and our hearing took about 10 minutes. I was really a non-event. The judge will have our ruling ready at 11:00 on Thursday. We were hoping for sooner but given our POA had indicated this could take a week and we should plan accordingly, we are ok with the delay. After court we went to Home of Hope to see the baby. While there our POA convinced the sisters to let us take him for the day since we had been to court. We could leave the orphanage with him so long as he was back by 5:00! They let us see the room where he hangs out during the day and the room where he sleeps. We got to love on some of the other kids too. After that we loaded into the SUV (boy is this kiddo going to be in for a shock when he is strapped into a car seat!) and headed to our hotel so we could move to the new place. After we moved we headed to lunch at Bourbon Coffee. The food was awesome and we will definitely be going back there. While at lunch the baby tried his first rice cereal. I have a feeling it is much more bland than the porridge he gets because he HATED it. It was so funny watching him take a bite and realize it tasted gross and spit it out. Hunger won in the end and he ate a little bit.

After lunch it was nap time so we went back to the hotel to hang out and rest. We took our first nap together as a family and then hung out. Oh boy, it this little one super cute. We finally got some smiles and even a laugh or two. After that our time was up for the day and he had to go back to the orphanage for the night. It was sad to leave him, but I know he is in fantastic hands.

Chris and I had a fantastic meal tonight then back to the hotel to get some sleep before our day tomorrow.

Rwanda Day 1

2011-11-21T09:33:00.000-06:00

After almost 24 hours (18 on three different planes), we arrived at Kigali International Airport last night around 7 pm local time. Our POA, Fidele, picked us up and brought us to our hotel. We started bright and early this morning with a visit to the secor to sign the Act of Adoption. We were delayed a bit while we waited for the nuns but we ran some errands during the wait. When Fidle got word the the nuns were at sector, we headed there. The Act of Adopion form is in a huge book. We signed it and waited just a bit longer for it to be signed. Fidle tells us that we were really lucky to get it signed so quickly.

After sector, we headed to the bank so Fidle couldd pay the fees for our court hearing. Once paid we headed to court to get a hearing date. We are set for tomorrow morning at 8 am and hoping and praying for a quick ruling.

After court we grabbed some lunch then went to Home of Hope to see our guy. Oh my, is he cute! I can't wait to share pictures once we pass court. The nuns told us that he likes to eat and you can tell. I am hoping he'll fit in the clothes we brought.

We are probably going to move hotels tomorrow to one offering a suite for $30 less per night. So far things are going really well. Praying that things continue.

Off we go!

2011-11-17T20:48:00.000-06:00

I am the worst blogger ever but have HUGE news to share. We are leaving for Rwanda on Saturday (about 36 hours from now). We got a referral for the cutest little boy the Friday before last and we made travel arrangements that day from our iPad on a drive to Mississippi. My in-laws are coming in tomorrow to stay with the boys and we are off to the airport on Saturday morning. We fly out of DFW to Detroit, from Detroit to Amsterdam and from Amsterdam directly to Kigali. We will be in Kigali at least two weeks (our attorney is afraid it might be closer to 3 weeks due to a really crowed court docket before the court takes a break). After we finish in Kigali, we head to Nairobi to process little man's visa and then we fly out of Nairobi. Our flight currently has us leaving on December 10 but if things go longer in Kigali, we'll have to push it out.

We are frantically washing baby clothes and bottles and getting ready to go. I am so paranoid about leaving an important piece of paper here and have made so many copies of things that I probably have 50 pounds of paperwork that I am carrying over.

I am really nervous about leaving the boys but they love their Grandma and Granddaddy. I hope to use this blog as a journal while we are there even though I am pretty sure that no one actually reads it.

If you are a praying person, we ask that you lift us up in prayer - for safety, for efficiency, for our boys (all THREE of them)! Will post again from Rwanda!

9 Months Waiting (and big news)

2011-04-27T07:17:00.000-05:00

Today marks exactly 9 months since our dossier arrived in Kigali and I am super excited to announce that we received our approval to adopt letter from the Ministry this morning. We are so much closer to bringing our son home with this approval letter. The remaining steps are for us to get a referral then travel to Rwanda for court and processing. The wait time for a referral is unknown but it is in God's hands and I know that we will be matched with the little boy who is meant to be our son in His timing (although we are REALLY hoping that we can travel this summer so Davis can go with us).

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-15T22:37:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas!

Somebody is Two!

2010-09-01T20:40:00.000-05:00

Happy Happy Birthday to Samuel, who turned two on the 24th. I don't know where the time has gone. I couldn't find my camera over the last few days (even though it was sitting right next to my computer - oops) so I didn't post sooner. We went on vacation to Disney.world the second week of August. It was hot and Samuel was clingy (he started running a low grade fever towards the end of the trip) and didn't sleep in a pack n play but overall we had a good time. Chris has all of the pictures on his camera so I'll have to post those at a later time. His vocabulary exploded while on vacation and now we can have actual conversations with him and its super awesome. He is so sweet but has pretty strong opinions about almost everything!

Remembering him as a tiny (well, not so tiny) newborn:

We took him for his formal portraits but he would not sit still long enough to get a decent picture. Here are some recent pictures of my rambunctious toddler off of my camera.

Fun summer times in the pool.

Enjoying his birthday cupcake.

More backyard fun.

Opening his birthday presents from Grandma while on vacation in Florida.

Having fun on the Honey I Shrunk the Kids slide at Hollywood Studios.

Sweet boy.

Happy Birthday to Davis!

2010-08-07T13:22:00.000-05:00

Today is Davis' 7th birthday. I cannot believe what a sweet boy he has turned into. Granted, he has his moments of attitude, but mostly he is super sweet and we are so lucky to have him as our son. We've been celebrating the birthday since last Saturday, when he learned to ride his bike without training wheels. He wanted mommy to teach him instead of daddy and although he was scared, he did great. We went out the next day and bought him a brand new bike for his birthday.

Last Sunday, he and I went to the circus. We had seats on the second row and were "Circus Celebrities". At one point during the show, we got to go sit on the floor to watch for 20 minutes or so. It was a great show and we had a really good time (although we really missed the motorcycles in the big cages that they had last year).

We are waiting to have his party until after school starts so he can invite his school friends.

Here are a few pictures to enjoy:

Davis as a newborn (3 lbs 9 oz):

Circus Pictures:

People shooting out of a cannon!

Update

2010-07-22T10:09:00.000-05:00

We have had a lot going on since my last update. Davis left for a visit with his grandparents (Chris' parents) in Birmingham, AL on Friday, July 16. He will not be home until July 27 and I already miss him like crazy. He is having a fantastic time. Yesterday, he and his granddaddy saw Despicable Me and the day before that they drove to Huntsville to visit the U.S. Space & Rocket Center. He got to ride on rockets and see a Star Wars exhibit. I am pretty sure that Davis is going to be bored to death when he gets back home. The good news is that we leave for vacation in Disneyworld just a little while after he gets home and he'll get to see his grandparents again. I am posting this at work so I cannot upload any pictures but hopefully when Davis gets home, I'll have lots of pictures from his trip to be able to post.

Samuel is being his typical super-cute self. He is still so busy with everything. His vocabulary has been exploding lately. Its so cute to hear him say new words. He is going to school 3 days a week and seems to be thriving there. He is learning a lot and making new friends.

I turned 40 (gasp!) years old on Friday, July 16. At first I was all depressed about it but realize now that its just another day. I did pamper myself with a pedicure and a 110 minute massage that was heavenly. On Saturday we had a sitter that stayed with Samuel all night (first time we've ever done that) while Chris and I headed up the road an hour to Oklahoma to WinStar casino for a fun night out. We went to a nice dinner, saw Bowling for Soup and Better than Ezra in concert, and lost money at the casino. It was nice to get away and both Samuel and the sitter seemed no worse for the wear when we arrived home on Sunday morning.

We've made a lot of progress on the adoption front. It took a while for our dossier to be fully authenticated by the Rwandan embassy but we received it back yesterday and today it is officially on its way to our power of attorney in Rwanda who will deliver it to the Minister's office so we can officially be DTR (dossier to Rwanda). We are in the waiting stage now and it could be quite a while (I am thinking a year or so) before we hear anything.

Sorry for such a long and boring post but we've had a lot going on and I have not updated in forever.

At the Embassy

2010-06-29T13:31:00.000-05:00

I got our documents back from Austin on Friday and fed-exed them to Carol at Dependable Adoption Courier Service (highly recommended) on Saturday. She received the documents on Monday morning and had them completed at the state department on Tuesday (she had to do them over two days since there were too many documents for the state department to do in one day). The documents made it to the Embassy of Rwanda today where hopefully they will approve us to adopt and we can get our dossier to Rwanda. I am hopeful that we'll be able to have our dossier officially submitted by mid-July. Then the waiting begins.

On the Way to Austin

2010-06-18T15:42:00.001-05:00

Our dossier documents are on the way to Austin for authenication. This the first of a three-step authentication process before we can send our dossier to Rwanda. We are excited to be moving forward and hope the authentication process moves quickly.

Approved!

2010-06-08T20:14:00.000-05:00

We got our USCIS approval yesterday so now I am frantically pulling together the rest of the documents we need for our dossier. I have my medical on Friday (and am hoping the doctor will just sign the form since I was just there for a physical for the homestudy) and am really trying to get everything ready to send off to Austin next week.

We still have a long way to go but are so grateful to have this one step complete. So glad that USCIS changed the process and we weren't processed in Dallas. We'd still be waiting.

What is it like?

2010-05-05T12:28:00.000-05:00

Please read this post to get a glimpse as to what life is like in the orphanage where our son will come from. I just read the post and I am crying and praying for our son and the other boys and girls who want and need parents who will love them more than anything else.

Where Has the Time Gone?

2010-03-19T10:09:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe our little guy is already 19 months old. Where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday that he was a helpless newborn that needed us to do everything for him. Now he is an independent (almost too independent if you ask me) toddler that is the light of my life. At his 18 month appointment he was 25.6 lbs and 33.75 inches. He's been sick the last few weeks - he started daycare part time and his immune system is working overtime. He's been well for about a week now so hopefully we are on the mend. Here are a few of his 18 month pictures. He got really sick the day after these were taken so I bet he wasn't feeling well for the pictures but they turned out great anyway. Enjoy!

Another step closer

2010-02-22T14:36:00.000-06:00

We had our home study visit this past Saturday and it went really well. We should have the final report in 30 days or so. We have to gather a few more items for the report and send them to our social worker but we will be done with this part really soon. The best news is that since we were a client of his from our prior adoption, he charged us much less than he would normally charge for a new international home study.

Even though we had been through the home study process before, I still fretted about the house being perfect (which is nearly impossible with a 6 year old and an 18 month old tearing it apart as fast as I can pick things up). We had a really nice visit together, then he talked to Davis by himself (I evesdropped on the questions - mostly he asked Davis about our discipline methods and whether he was excited about having another brother) and finally talked to me and Chris individually. The last part was a safety inspection and since our house is already baby proofed that was no problem at all.

Our social worker did warn us about the Dallas office of USCIS. They are notoriously slow in processing the i600s and usually send back letters saying the application is not complete without including a name/number to call for more information. Typical government bureaucracy! Nothing that I didn't already know but still upsetting. I really want to get our dossier into Rwanda by July but it will totally be out of my hands.

Making Progress

2010-01-30T10:37:00.000-06:00

The social worker that we used for our home study when we adopted Samuel will be doing our home study for our new adoption as well. I really like him and he thinks this home study will be pretty easy for him since he'll just need to update our old one and add a few additional things needed for an international adoption. That does not give us much time to clean up the house but I know we can do it and the SW is pretty laid back so it does not need to be perfect. I'll probably take a day off of work in the next week or so to get the house picked up since our weeks and weekends have been so busy lately.

I also have my physical scheduled so we are moving along. I think I have all of the official documents (birth certificates, marriage certificate, etc.) that are needed so hopefully once the homestudy is complete we can file our i-600a and officially start the waiting process. We'll continue to work on our dossier during that period too but the dossier requirements are not too bad.

There are 9 families in Rwanda now picking up their 12 kids and most of them have blogs that I have been folloiwng. It is making me very anxious to be there too. Soon.

Big News!

2010-01-14T20:18:00.001-06:00

Although a lot of our family and friends know this already, I am officially announcing to the world that we are starting the process to adopt again. We are going to go the international route (from Rwanda) this time and I am very anxious to get the process started.

From all of the research I have done, we should have a new son join our family in 12 - 18 months. I have already called the social worker that did the home study for our domestic adoption and he is willing and able to do our home study for this adoption too. I am hoping that we'll be able to get the home study done relatively quickly since he already knows us and can use our prior home study as a starting point for a lot of the boiler plate stuff. Unfortunately the first part of the process (after the home study) is getting approval from the INS and the Dallas field office has one of the longest processing times in the country. The national average to process a I-600A is 3.5 months and the Dallas office averages 7.7 months. We are just starting the process and I am already annoyed by the potential delays but just pray and hope that our son is/will be well taken care of until we can get to Rwanda.

I'll be using this blog to track our progress in this journey.

I will be happy to answer any questions if you leave them in the comments.

Wordless Wednesday - Partners in Crime

2009-12-02T09:00:00.001-06:00

For more Wordless Wednesday participants, go here.

Fight for Preemies - Bloggers Unite

2009-11-17T11:49:00.000-06:00

As I have posted before, Davis was born at 31 weeks, weighing 3 lbs 9 oz. He spent 7 weeks in the NICU. You can read the story of his birth and the first few weeks here. I have posted numerous pictures about Davis and how amazing he is but today we fight for all Preemies.

In An Average Week in the United States*:

10,440 babies are born preterm

1,664 babies are born very preterm

6,769 babies are born low birthweight

1,217 babies are born very low birthweight

In 2006, there were 542,893 preterm births in the United States, representing 12.8% of live births.

Between 1996 and 2006, the rate of infants born preterm in the United States increased more than 16%.

During 2004-2006 (average) in the United States, preterm birth rates were highest for women ages 40 and older (16.8%), followed by women under age 20(14.7%), ages 30-39 (12.7%) and ages 20-29 (12.1%).

During 2004-2006 (average) in the United States, preterm birth rates were highest for black infants (18.3%), followed by Native Americans (14.1%), Hispanics (12.1%), whites (11.6%) and Asians (10.7%).

In 2005, the annual societal economic cost (medical, educational, and lost productivity) associated with preterm birth in the United States was at least $26.2 billion.

November is Prematurity Awareness Month and today bloggers unite to fight. Please take a few minutes to visit the March of Dimes to learn how you can help.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T22:11:00.000-05:00

Even though I am majorly behind on posts/pictures, I thought I'd share the Halloween pictures from today. Davis was Bum.blebee from Trans.formers for Halloween but went to a wizard/Hog.warts party earlier today. Samuel was a dragon. He LOVED his costume. Both Chris and I chased him around for at least 20 minutes once we put on his costume and neither of us was able to get a decent picture because he was too busy running around. The ones here are the best that I got. I hope you enjoy.

At the Hog.warts party:

Look at the cake my friend made. It was amazing.

Bumb.lebee:

On our way to the neighborhood party. It was Samuel's first time in the wagon and he really liked it.

The dragon:

These are very typical of the shots we got.

The Dumbest I've Read in a Long Time

2009-10-22T12:06:00.000-05:00

I just read this article on MSN about parents hosting swine flu parties so that their children can be exposed to people with the flu. All I have to say about that is WTF are they thinking. Crazy. I can't understand the reasoning behind purposefully exposing your child to any illness, let alone one that has so many unknowns at this time.

Kreativ Blogger Award!

2009-10-15T16:02:00.000-05:00

I got an award!! Thanks to BB for the nomination!

Here are the rules:
1-Thank the person who nominated you for this award.
2-Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3-Link to the person who nominated you for this award.
4-Name 7 things about yourself that people may not know.
5-Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6-Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7-Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know they’ve been nominated.

7 things you may not know about me:

1. Chris and I were set up on a blind date (although he says we met before that date I do not remember) in 1990 and were engaged 6 months later.
2. My mom died in 2004 from Leukemia and now I raise money yearly for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and I hope to one day train for a half marathon with Team in Training.
3. I am a lawyer but have never set foot in a courtroom other than for jury duty. I do corporate/contracts and would die if I ever had to go to court for any reason.
4. I actually did really well in law school and served as Editor in Chief of our law review. Although sometimes I lack common sense, I have a lot of "book sense".
5. The only sport I was ever half way decent at as a kid was swimming. I "played" basketball and softball but was not good at all.
6. Before visiting Chris' grandparents' house in rural Mississippi after we got married, I had never been on a farm or out of a city.
7. I am horrible with directions. If it weren't for goo.glemaps, I'd be lost a lot. I really want a GPS but am too cheap to buy one.

7 Kreativ bloggers I would like to nominate are:

Jessica
Shamae
Debbie
Kathleen
Tracey
Elaine
Merlot

Happy Children's Day

2009-10-01T10:45:00.003-05:00

Today (October 1) is Dia de los Ninos in Guatemala. A friend of mine who is a missionary in Guatemala mentioned it on Face.book so I did some minimal research on the holdiay (Thanks Wiki.pedia!). I am thinkig that as Samuel gets older, celebrating this day might be a good way to celebrate his Guatemalan heritage. I need to research some more to find out how this day is celebrated (if any reader knows, let me know) but celebrating kids sounds like a wonderful idea.

Just curious, for those of you with children of different race or heritage, do you do anything special (or do you plan to do anything) to celebrate the differences or celebrate any holidays specific to your child's race/heritage?

So Busy!

2009-09-29T09:29:00.002-05:00

Sorry, it's been forever since I have posted. I don't even know if I have any readers left but thought I'd add a quick post to update what's going on. Samuel turned one on August 24. That is also the day that he started full-on walking. Now he does not stop. The boy is BUSY! I do not have time to post when I am at home because I am constantly having to chase Samuel around to keep him from pulling stuff on his head (he LOVES to pull stuff off of our kitchen table and counters) or from climbing on our ottoman and hearth (he thinks walking on the ottoman is fun, fun, fun). By the time I finally get both the boys to bed, I am exhausted and ready for bed too. I'll try to at least post some of the pictures from all of the birthday parties we had in August.

Somebody is Six Years Old Today!!!

2009-08-06T22:17:00.003-05:00

This should have posted on August 7 not August 6. Today, the 7th is his birthday.

I cannot believe that Davis turns 6 today. It seems like just yesterday when we were rushing to the hospital so scared that he was coming too early. I am so in love with my oldest boy and grow more proud of him daily.

From this 3 lb. 9 oz fragile baby:

To this big boy:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!

One Year Ago

2009-07-24T08:01:00.002-05:00

One year ago today we got the call that changed our lives. Today is the anniversary of our match for Samuel. We were starting to get really anxious and beginning to wonder if we would ever get a match. God knew exactly what he was doing. Samuel was meant for us from the beginning. Its been quite a year and I wouldn't change a thing. He is truly a gift from God. I continue to pray that R has found peace with her decision.

August is a very busy month for us. Davis turns 6 on the 7th and Samuel turns 1 on the 24th. Two parties to plan. And getting ready for kindergarten. Fun times ahead!

Reading My OB/GYN Records

2009-07-21T15:29:00.007-05:00

I recently got a copy of my records from my OB/GYN since he is semi-retiring and I am finding a new GYN to do my annual exams. In reading through the records I can't help but be so grateful that Davis is healthy. God was really watching us that day almost 6 years ago. Reading about Davis' delivery and also about our two losses has brought back a flood of memories. A few things of note in the delivery records are below.

From the typed operative report under Postoperative Dianosis:
1. A 31-32 week gestation with ruptured membranes
2. Breech presentation
3. Fetal distress suggestive of cord compression
4. Cord prolapse
5. Bicornuate uterus (turns out it is actually unicornuate with a rudimentary horn but what a way to get diagnosed with a uterine anomoly)

From the operative report under Indications:

The patient was being observed in labor and delivery with a diagnosis of premature, preterm rupture of membranes and had begun demonstrating bradycardiac episodes suggesting cord compression. At 1800, while I was at the bedside, the baby had an acute bradycardiac episode which was nonresponsive to position changes. Cervical exam was perform and she was 4 cm dilted with a foot present in va.gin.a. There was no cord palpable, but with the pregression of dilation and presence of the feet, the assumption was that she had either an occult or partial cord prolapse causing the bradycardiac episode. . . . decision was made to proceed with the rapid sequence induction and cesarean section.

From Findings section: A vigorous male infant from the breech presentation with the umbilical cord prolapse to the level of the feet.

I remember the nurses in the NICU commenting about how lucky we were since he was the baby with the prolapsed cord. I didn't understand at the time what that meant and was mostly in a daze for the first few weeks of his life.

For the 5 years after his birth as we tried to have number two I was always concerned about the risk of premature delivery again. The chances are great that with my uterus I would never be able to carry a baby to term. God really knew what he was doing when he led us to adoption and brought our precious Samuel into our family. Our family in now complete and I wouldn't change a thing.

9 Months

2009-06-12T17:39:00.012-05:00

It's very hard to believe, but Samuel is already 9 1/2 months old. He is growing so fast and changing so much. I do not have much time to post lately since he is a VERY busy baby and is into everything. It seems that every dangerous thing in the house calls to him and he must get to the item as quickly as possibly so he can beat mommy or daddy there.

At his 9 month appointment on May 27, he weighed in at 21.7 lbs (75%) and was 29 inches long (75%). His head circumference was in the 25%. According to the pediatrician he is doing great developmentally.

A few things that he is doing or that happened recently:

- He got his first haircut on May 23. We went to an old fashioned barber shop in town and his stylist said he was the best baby she'd ever cut. He did so well. Check out these picture from his haircut:

- He's been "crawling" for over a month now. He mostly scoots around on his tummy but is really quick and gets anywhere that he wants. He will occasionally crawl on his hands and knees but after a few motions he goes to his tummy. Here is a very short video of the crawling (please ignore my voice - I sound like an idiot). Seems like every time I try to get it on video, he stops crawling.

- He is taking four 6 oz bottles per day although he rarely finishes all of his bottles in a day (he'll typically leave 1 - 2 oz of his morning and afternoon bottles). His total formula intake is 20 - 24 oz. per day.

- He is eating three solid meals a day although we are sticking purely with purees and yogurt as he seems to have real issues with any textures. He typically gets cereal and a fruit for breakfast, yogurt and a veggie for lunch and a meat and a veggie at dinner. He will choke and puke on anything besides baby food. Pediatrician said to try to introduce new food textures every week or so to see how he does and that some kids just take a little longer to get used to textures and gumming their food. We've tried puffs and he can do them ok but he occasionally forgets to gum them thoroughly and ends up choking and puking them up so we really limit them to just once or twice a week and only a few at a time.

- He has seven teeth already (three on bottom and four on top). So cute!!!!

- He just starting pulling himself up to stand. He will try it on anything (including toys are are not very stable) so I fear he is going to injure himself if we do not watch him like a hawk. He can also sit down from standing.

- He generally sleeps through the night (from 7:30ish to 7:00ish). He generally takes a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap in the morning and a much shorter nap (45 minutes) in the afternoon although there are many days where he boycotts his morning nap.

- He comfortably wears size 12 mo. clothes.

- He cannot yet sit up from laying down although he is getting close to doing this.

- He LOVES his big brother. He lights up whenever Davis walks in the room and Davis can make him smile and laugh even when he is being grumpy. He wants to be in whatever room Davis is in so he is often found crawling towards the playroom to play with his big brother.

- He says "ma ma" and "da da".

- Being his mother is such a dream come true and an answer to so many prayers. God really knew what he was doing in matching us with this little angel.

Here are some of the pictures from his formal 9 month portraits:

Poor Davis

2009-06-02T11:07:00.003-05:00

If you follow me on FaceBook, you have undoubtedly seen all of my posts about Davis' teeth issues but I thought I'd document them here as well. We had a few friends over on Memorial Day so we heated up the pool for the first swim of the year. Everyone was having such a good time that we let Davis stay up much later than normal. Davis was walking along the bench in the pool but because it was dark (we had the pool light on but it does not put out a ton of light), Davis did not see when the bench ended and he hit his mouth on the side of the pool. Chris and I heard Davis crying (actually screaming) and saw our friend pulling him out of the pool. I rushed to him and there was blood everywhere. We thought he had just busted his lip so we headed inside to get some ice. Once we were inside, I saw the damage. His top front two teeth were extremely lose as was the tooth next to it. The canine tooth on the top looked chipped. Poor kid didn't want any tylenol or anything for pain (but was able to eat a cookie to make himself feel better).

The next morning, we went to school and I left a message for our dentist. Our regular denstist office was closed for continuing education so the pediatric dentist that was covering called and told us to come in to make sure there was no danger. I picked Davis up from school early and we headed to the dentist. She thought we'd have to pull at least two teeth and maybe up to four but wanted us to follow up with our regular dentist in a few days once the swelling went down. We did that on Friday and the final verdict is that they think he might have broken his jaw but it is settling back in place. It was pretty clear that his front two teeth would need to come out. We were hoping to save the other two. The X-ray showed that the tooth next to the front teeth was split (the tooth split from the roots) so it would have to come out too. The canine tooth is actually not chipped but was pushed up into his bone. We are just hoping that it did not get too close to the tooth bed of the permanent tooth. If it did get too close, it might stop development of the permanent tooth. We are going to leave the canine in and monitor it. They hope that over time that it will start to drop back down.

We tried to go ahead with the extraction on Friday while we were in the office. Davis was doing great until the dentist gave him the first novocaine shot. After that, he started screaming and crying so we put an end to the work. We didn't want his first real dental experience to be traumatic so we rescheduled for June 10 when we'll do the extractions under conscious sedation. I am nervous about him taking the drug but they tell me that it is really mild and kids typically come out of it pretty quickly. He will still be awake but the drug makes them loopy and also has the effect of making them not remember what is happening.

Poor kid will be without his front two teeth for 6 - 8 months (the permanent teeth are there but not too close) and without the tooth next to that for about 2 years (kids usually don't lose that baby tooth until they are 8 - 9). Since the canine is pushed up into the bone and you can only see a small part of it now, he will look like he is missing all 4 teeth. He thinks it will be cool (and is excited that the tooth fairy brings extra money when kids have to get teeth pulled at the dentist) but we are just hoping that he does not get teased when he starts kindergarten next year.

I took some pictures of his beat up mouth and will post them along with pictures of the missing teeth after the procedure next week. Please pray that the procedure goes smoothly and that he does not have any sort of reaction to the drugs.

Pictures!

2009-05-14T17:34:00.005-05:00

Since my last post was such a downer and I have not posted pictures of the boys in ages, I thought I'd post a few recent pictures (and one video). Samuel is 8 1/2 months already. I can't believe how much he has changed. I'll do a formal update post when he turns 9 months but until then, I leave you with these:

Samuel dancing (please ignore my stupid laugh at the end):

(Un)happy Mother's Day

2009-05-09T11:02:00.005-05:00

For all of the years we were trying to have a baby, Mother's Day was a painful reminder of what we did not have. When I finally became a mom, I was looking forward to finally being able to celebrate Mother's Day. Unfortunately things didn't work out that way. My mom (who was the best mom on the planet and my best friend) was diagnosed with acute leukemia the week Davis got released from the NICU. After a seven week stay in the NICU, the son we had waited so long for was finally coming home. What should have been one of the happiest times of my life was also one of the saddest.

My mom fought hard to beat her cancer, but unfortunately she lost her battle. She died on Mother's Day (May 9) in 2004. Every since then, Mother's Day has left me sad. I am so sad that my mom died, sad that I cannot celebrate her as a mom, sad that she only got to see Davis a few times (she was not allowed to be near children under two due to a compromised immune system), sad that she will never get to meet Samuel, sad that my boys will not know her. On a day that I should be so happy with the way things have turned out for us, I continue to feel sadness about my loss. I hope and pray that as time goes by that I will be able to enjoy the day more and celebrate being a mom to the best sons on the planet. I am truly blessed and need to remember that when I start to feel blue.

My Two Sons

2009-05-07T13:32:00.004-05:00

I have had this post knocking around in my head for awhile and decided I would take a stab at writing something substantive on this blog for once.

I used to work with a guy (he was a much older partner at my former law firm) that had three children. He had two biological sons and an adopted daughter. I remember that he would always mention that his daughter was adopted when talking about her. She had some emotional issues and it was like he was embarrassed by her behavior so he would qualify stuff with "she's adopted." I am not sure why I am thinking about this as its been since 2000 that I even worked with this guy and that is way before adoption was even a thought for us but for some reason that has stuck with me. I wonder if part of his daughter's issues were caused by being labeled adopted rather than just his daughter?

I can't imagine talking about Samuel like that regardless of what issues we might face in the future. I do not have one biological son and one adopted son, I have two sons - plain and simple. I am very proud of the way Samuel joined our family but do not think it is something that will come up that often when talking to people outside of our family. It will obviously be something we discuss in our house and with him but I never want him to feel like he is any less our son because of the way he joined our family.

Book Giveaway!

2009-03-13T16:39:00.004-05:00

Betty Rubble is the big winner. Best of luck to everyone.

I have two books on preventing miscarriage that I would like to give away. If you are interested in the books, How to Prevent Miscarriage and Other Crises of Pregnancy and Preventing Miscarriage: The Good News (mine is the older edition but still has some good information), please leave a comment and include a way for me to reach you. I'll randomly select a winner after 5:00 pm on Wednesday, March 18.

Forever Family

2009-03-07T08:29:00.004-06:00

We are officially and legally a forever family now! The hearing went really well and you could tell that the judge really liked this part of her job. The whole thing in front of the judge took about 5 minutes. She even gave Samuel a stuffed toy boat, which he loves. Our attorney gave us Samuel's original birth certificate and he sent off yesterday to Georgia to get his new birth certificate. We should have it in a month or two. We got out of the courthouse a lot sooner than we thought so we went out for brunch. All in all, it was a great day.

Here a a few shots from the day.

Waiting to go into the court room. A lady that was there for her finalization took these pictures for us.

Getting sworn in by the judge.

First picture as a forever family!

Tomorrow is Our Big Day

2009-03-05T22:12:00.003-06:00

Samuel's finalization hearing is tomorrow at 8:00 am. We are going to have to get the boys up really early to get there on time. I just hope they are not too grumpy in the morning and things go smoothly driving to downtown Dallas for the hearing. We'll probably be at the court house for 2 - 3 hours (we have to wait for the certified copy of the adoption certificate). We decided to take Davis out of school so he could attend. We want him to be a part of this big day for our family. He knows that it is an important day and after tomorrow Samuel will be his brother forever. I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow if the judge lets us take them.

Losing His First Tooth

2009-03-05T09:16:00.001-06:00

Davis has lost his first tooth! On Sunday evening, we were putting a puzzle together and I thought he had something stuck on this tooth and when I looked closer, noticed there was no tooth. Thankfully, the tooth wasn’t lost, though for a little while, we thought it might be. It had fallen out during dinner, and was still in the dinette, sitting on Davis’s chair. We cleaned it up, and helped him ready it for the Tooth Fairy that evening.

6 Month Portraits

2009-03-04T20:59:00.002-06:00

We took Samuel to J.C. P_enne_y's for his formal 6 month portraits. Little stinker was not very smiley but we got some cute pictures anyway. Here are some of my favorites. I hope you enjoy them.

6 Months

2009-02-24T21:42:00.000-06:00

Its hard to believe, but Samuel is 6 months old today. Time has gone so fast and he has changed so much. He has an amazing personality - always smiling and talking. He lights up when he sees me and it makes my heart melt. He is also so in love with his big brother and big brother is so in love with him. Whenever Samuel sees Davis, he starts laughing because he knows that Davis will play with him. Davis cannot go to sleep without giving Samuel a kiss good night. Davis adjusted to having a new person in the family so much better than I thought he would and I pray that they continue to get along so well and become great friends.

Samuel doesn't go in for his 6 month appointment until next Monday so I'll update then with his exact weight and height but according to my scale, he is 18lbs as of this morning. I am putting together a letter to send to R. It is the last update that she asked for when she signed her papers. We are going to leave the door open for her in case she wants additional contact at a later date.

Now for a few things that Samuel is doing:

- He easily rolls from his back to his tummy. He still hates it on his tummy and usually starts crying pretty quickly. He is starting to realize that he can just roll back over and make it better.

- He is working really hard on sitting up from a laying position. Whenever he is on his back, he is lifting his head and shoulders up. I know that one morning pretty soon I am going to go to get him out of his crib and he'll be sitting up. We are already talking about lowering his mattress.

- He loves to stand while holding onto our hands and definitely puts weight on his legs. He has actually taken a few "steps" while I was holding his hands.

- He has two teeth. They popped overnight without too much fanfare.

- He started solids. He usually gobbles up his cereal and his stage one food (a whole container of it) when he gets it in the evening. He has done rice cereal, squash, carrots and sweet potatoes. The next food on our doctor's list is bananas and we'll be trying that soon.

- He loves to babble. He says da da da all of the time and we are trying to teach him when to use it. It is so cute when he "talks".

- When I started writing this I wrote that he is generally sleeping all night. For 6 nights in a row, he went down around 7:45 and did not wake up until 7ish. The last two nights he has started waking again (and last night he woke up twice). I am hoping the night wakings are a fluke and we go back to the 11 hour stretches.

Now for some pictures:

March of Dimes March for Babies

2009-02-24T09:03:00.001-06:00

Every year since 2004, I have walked in the March of Dimes March for Babies to raise money for the March of Dimes and I will be walking again this year. As many of you know, our son Davis was born 9 weeks premature and spent 7 weeks in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) at Medical City Dallas Hospital, therefor the work of the March of Dimes is very important to me personally. I am oficially kicking off my fundraising for 2009's March of Dimes March for Babies and ask anyone who is so inclined, to please consider donating to this worthy cause. Please follow this link (http://www.marchforbabies.org/KLTTX) to donate online or you can send checks and/or cash to me directly. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you.

We Have a Date!!!

2009-02-20T13:42:00.002-06:00

Our finalization hearing is scheduled for first thing in the morning on Friday, March 6. I am so excited about becoming an official forever family (even though we've been a forever family since the moment I set eyes on Samuel). Samuel turns 6 months next week and I'll post an update about things then but everything is going great. He is an awesome baby and we are so blessed to have him in our family.

Puppet Show

2009-01-26T10:40:00.001-06:00

Davis threw an impromptu puppet show from Samuel, and as you can see from the latter’s reaction, the show got rave reviews. Enjoy!

Puppet Show from Chris Turner on Vimeo.

Milestones

2009-01-12T18:59:00.003-06:00

I am posting this quickly so I don't forget the date (since I am not good about remembering or otherwise documenting these kind of things). Samuel rolled over from his back to his tummy today for the first time. He was playing on his mat while I was doing something in the kitchen. When I turned to check on him he was on his tummy. It must have just happened before I looked since he hates his tummy and had not started to fuss yet. On January 1 he rolled from his tummy to his back two times but has not done it since.

He is sleeping pretty well even though he is sick right now. He is going 8 - 9 hours at night. I am so grateful for the rest.

ETA: He actually rolled over from back to tummy 3 - 4 more times tonight and from tummy to back once.

Davis' First Sleep Over

2009-01-09T20:15:00.003-06:00

Tonight is Davis' first sleep over at a friends house. Even though it is just down the street, I am a little sad about it. I was trying to figure out why it was bothering me so much and the only thing I have been able to come up with is the NICU. The only other time Davis has slept out of our house when we were here was during his 7 week NICU stay. Even though in many ways it seems like that was forever ago, in other ways, it seems so recent. Sometimes I still see him as the fragile preemie and I just want to wrap my arms around him and protect him. I hope that over time the NICU time will become less memorable and I'll be able to let him grow up without being one of those hovering parents.

Samuel is not feeling well

2009-01-09T20:03:00.002-06:00

I have been home alone all week while Chris is at Macworld San Francisco with some friends. This has confirmed that I am definitely not organized enough to be a stay at home mom. It looks like a tornado has been in my kitchen and living room. I usually don't mind that since I am working and I have that as an excuse but not so much this week. Its driving me crazy but I can't seem to find the time to do anything about it.

Samuel has had a minor cough for a while. I mentioned it in passing to his doctor at his four month appointment on Dec. 29th and we both agreed that it was probably just him adjusting to extra secretions from his teething. She listened to his lungs and they sounded fine. On Wednesday of this week, I noticed that the cough was sounding a little more "chesty" so I made an appointment with a nurse practicioner on Thursday morning. His oxygen level was down to 95% so they gave him a breathing treatment in the office to see if it helped. After the treatment his sat level was still low so they prescribed breathing treatments at home. Poor boo is still laughing and playing as much as he can but he tires easily and coughs a bit. He does not particularly like his breathing treatments (he wants to pull on the cord and put his hands in his mouth during the treatments and when I stop him he starts screaming). I am waking him once each night to give a treatment. We go back to the doctor next Thursday. Hopefully by then, he'll be all better.

Worse news is that they think the virus causing the problems is RSV and infants who get RSV have a 30% increase risk of development asthma.

Here is the picture I took with my camera phone of his treatment in the doctor's office.

Samuel "Singing" with Daddy

2008-12-30T21:43:00.003-06:00

I am working on a longer Christmas post but in the meantime had to share this adorable video that I shot tonight. This is what Samuel does when Chris sings to him.

4 Months

2008-12-29T17:00:00.005-06:00

Its been forever since I have posted. Things are really busy. I forget how hard it is to be a working mom with an infant. Both Davis and Samuel are doing great. We had a really good Christmas. We drove to Baton Rouge to visit Chris' grandmother. It was her first time seeing Samuel. She smothered him with kisses. Both of the boys got way too much for Christmas and now I am trying to figure out where we are going to put all of the new toys.

Samuel turned 4 months on Christmas eve. Here is a picture from that day. Its not great but its the only one we got as we were rushing to get out of town that day.

He had his 4 month check up today. He weighed in at 15 lbs 15 oz. in the 75th percentile. He is quite tall - 26.25 inches (the 90th percentile) and his head circumference is 16.5 for the 25 - 50 percentile. The doctor said he is doing very well and cleared us to start solids. They want you to do cereal with a spoon rather than adding to the bottle so we'll probably see how that goes this upcoming weekend and next week while I am home from work while Chris is out of town. He got two shot. He seems to be doing pretty well so far. Sleeping was going great. I actually got three days in a row of 7 - 8 hours but he seems to have lapsed back into the every few hour habit since we've been home from Baton Rouge. I am hoping he goes back to the other soon.

Thankful

2008-11-27T14:21:00.002-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving. Today there is so much that I am thankful for that I cannot list everything. Here is a short list of the things I am the most thankful for:

- both my boys - I love being a mom more than anything in the world
- Chris - he is the best father and husband I could ever have asked for
- my job - a lot of people have lost their jobs lately (even at my company) and I am grateful to still have a job that I really like
- my health
- GOD - nothing else would matter without Him

Musical Meme

2008-11-26T11:59:00.004-06:00

Taking a break from posting about my beautiful boys to do this fun musical meme.

The Rules:
A.) Go to Musical Outfitters.
B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you REALLY hate.

1. Faith, George Michael
2. Need You Tonight, INXS
3. ~~Got My Mind Set On You, George Harrison~~
4. ~~Never Gonna Give You Up, Rick Astley~~
5. Sweet Child O' Mine, Guns N' Roses
6. ~~So Emotional, Whitney Houston~~
7. Heaven Is A Place On Earth, Belinda Carlisle
8. ~~Could've Been, Tiffany~~
9. Hands To Heaven, Breathe
10. Roll With It, Steve Winwood
11. One More Try, George Michael
12. Wishing Well, Terence Trent d'Arby
13. Anything For You, Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine
14. The Flame, Cheap Trick
15. ~~Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car, Billy Ocean~~
16. Seasons Change, Expose
17. Is This Love, Whitesnake
18. Wild, Wild West, Escape Club
19. Pour Some Sugar On Me, Def Leppard
20. I'll Always Love You, Taylor Dayne
21. Man In The Mirror, Michael Jackson
22. Shake Your Love, Debbie Gibson
23. Simply Irresistible, Robert Palmer
24. Hold On To The Nights, Richard Marx
25. Hungry Eyes, Eric Carnen
26. Shattered Dreams, Johnny Hates Jazz
27. Father Figure, George Michael
28. ~~Naught Girls (Need Love Too), Samantha Fox~~
29. A Groovy Kind Of Love, Phil Collins
30. Love Bites, Def Leppard
31. Endless Summer Nights, Richard Marx
32. Foolish Beat, Debbie Gibson
33. Where Do Broken Hearts Go, Whitney Houston
34. Angel, Aerosmith
35. Hazy Shade Of Winter, Bangles
36. The Way You Make Me Feel, Michael Jackson
37. Don't Worry, Be Happy, Bobby McFerrin
38. Make Me Lose Control, Eric Carnen
39. Red Red Wine, UB40
40. She's Like The Wind, Patric Swayze
41. Bad Medicine, Bon Jovi
42. Kokomo, Beach Boys
43. I Don't Wanna Go On With You Like That, Elton John
44. Together Forever, Rick Astley
45. Monkey, George Michael
46. Devil Inside, INXS
47. Should've Known Better, Richard Marx
48. I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love, Chicago
49. ~~The Loco-Motion, Kylie Minogue~~
50. What Have I Done To Deserve This?, Pet Shop Boys and Dusty Springfield
51. Make It Real, Jets
52. What's On Your Mind, Information Society
53. Tell It To My Heart, Taylor Dayne
54. Out Of The Blue, Debbie Gibson
55. Don't You Want Me, Jody Watley
56. Desire, U2
57. I Get Weak, Belinda Carlisle
58. Sign Your Name, Terence Trent d'Arby
59. I Want To Be Your Man, Roger
60. Girlfriend, Pebbles
61. Dirty Diana, Michael Jackson
62. 1-2-3, Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
63. Mercedes Boy, Pebbles
64. Perfect World, Huey Lewis and the News
65. New Sensation, INXS
66. Catch Me (I'm Falling), Pretty Poison
67. If It Isn't Love, New Edition
68. Rocket 2 U, Jets
69. ~~One Good Woman, Peter Cetera~~
70. Don't Be Cruel, Cheap Trick
71. Candle In The Wind, Elton John
72. Everything Your Heart Desires, Daryl Hall and John Oates
73. Say You Will , Foreigner
74. I Want Her, Keith Sweat
75. Pink Cadillac, Natalie Cole
76. Fast Car, Tracy Chapman
77. Electric Blue, Icehouse
78. The Valley Road, Bruce Hornsby and The Range
79. Don't Be Cruel, Bobby Brown
80. Always On My Mind, Pet Shop Boys
81. Piano In The Dark, Brenda Russell Featuring Joe Esposito
82. When It's Love, Van Halen
83. Don't Shed A Tear, Paul Carrack
84. We'll Be Together, Sting
85. I Hate Myself For Loving You, Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
86. I Don't Want To Live Without You, Foreigner
87. Nite And Day, Al B. Sure
88. Don't You Know What The Night Can Do, Steve Winwood
89. One Moment In Time, Whitney Houston
90. Can't Stay Away From You, Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
91. Kissing A Fool, George Michael
92. Cherry Bomb, John Cougar Mellancamp
93. I Still Believe, Brenda K. Starr
94. I Found Someone, Cher
95. Never Tear Us Apart, INXS
96. Valerie, Steve Windwood
97. Just Like Paradise, David Lee Roth
98. Nothin' But A Good Time, Poison
99. Wait, White Lion
100. Prove Your Love, Taylor Dayne

3 Month Update and Lots of Pictures

2008-11-25T09:51:00.005-06:00

Sorry I havn't posted for so long but I am back to work now and things are really busy. Chris is staying home with Samuel for now and it is working out well. I spoke too soon in my last post about Samuel sleeping for 7 hours straight. We can usually get one 5 - 6 hour stretch but that is about it. I know he'll start sleeping better soon so for now I am just enjoying my time with him at night since he is so cute and full of smiles all of the time. He is also not a great napper. He likes to take several short cat naps but does not really take a long nap or two during the day. It makes Chris' days more difficult but I know Samuel will get better with that too.

Samuel turned 3 months old yesterday. I cannot believe he has been with us that long. Time is going so fast. Just three more months and we'll be able to finalize his adoption. We are in the process of pulling together a set of pictures and writing a letter to send to R. She asked for a letter and pictures at 3 months and again at 6 months. I am have a hard time with the letter because I am sure that she is still struggling with everything that she went through and I do not want to open any wounds. I hope she enjoys seeing his pictures though.

We took Davis and Samuel to Portrait Innovations on Sunday for formal portraits (3 month pictures for Samuel and 5 year (a little late) pictures for Davis). We also did some holiday photos. Here are some of the better pictures (Samuel was way more interested in eating his hands than smiling but we got a few cute ones).

Halloween 2008

2008-11-02T11:03:00.003-06:00

Things are going really well. Samuel has started to sleep about 7 hours straight at night (too bad it starts at 8 pm but it is definitely an improvement). I start back to work tomorrow. I know I will miss both my boys like crazy but it will be good to be back.

A few pictures from Halloween:

Sir Davis:

Clone Trooper Davis (he wore one costume to his school party and one to trick or treat):

Samuel the Ghost (this is what he thought of the whole Halloween thing):

Weekend Update - State Fair and Pumpkin Patch

2008-10-24T11:41:00.005-05:00

We had a really busy weekend last weekend. Davis was off of school on Friday so we went to the State Fair of Texas. It was fun but not something we'll do every year. Chris' parents flew in that night for a quick visit. It was the first time they met Samuel and I don't think he was put down the whole weekend. We went to a pumpkin patch on Saturday. Here are some pictures from the State Fair and the pumpkin patch that I thought I would share.

Samuel on the pumpkins:

Davis and Samuel at the Pumpkin Patch:

Samuel at the Fair (this is what he thought about it all):

In Front of Big Tex:

Davis and Chris on the Texas Star Ferris Wheel:

Two Months

2008-10-24T11:13:00.007-05:00

I can't believe that Samuel is already two months old. Where has the time gone? I go back to work in just over a week. I am going to miss him like crazy but know that Chris will do a great job with him during the day. He is still not a great sleeper. He may go 4 hours at night but not more. After talking to the doctor today, I am going to try just giving him his pacifier the next few nights to see if we can drop the middle of the night bottle (he is only taking 2 oz and the doctor thinks he might not even be hungry but just used to waking and eating). I would really like to get him to 6 hours soon so I am not a walking zombie at the office. His stats at two months are:

Weight: 13.6 oz. (close to 90th percentile)
Height: 23.5 inches (75th percentile - this went down but doctor was not concerned since it is really hard at this age to get a good measurement)
Head circumference: 15.5 (25th percentile)

He got two shots and the rotovirus vaccination orally. He did great with his shots. He is sleeping peacefully now.

We have our fist post-placement visit tomorrow. I am not sure what to expect but I am sure it will be fine. I just need to clean the house a bit so we have a decent place to sit and talk with the social worker.

A picture from today (exactly 2 months old). Checkout the adorable smile:

Small Milestone

2008-10-05T17:53:00.003-05:00

We had a minor milestone last night. Samuel spent his first night in his crib. It went really well. He did not seem to mind at all and I think that both he and I slept better and I know Chris slept better (he didn't hear him on the monitor at all). He has stretched one of his night feedings from 3.5 hours to about 4 - 4.5 hours but he only goes about 3 hours after that. I am hoping that he stretches that to 5 - 5.5 hours by the time I go back to work. I only have 4 more weeks off and I intend to enjoy every moment (even those when he is up in the middle of the night after just 3 hours). He is doing really well and Davis is loving every minute of having a little brother.

I plan to follow up with our agency this week to find out how the termination of paternal rights is going. I am going to assume that no news is good news on that front but I'd like an update none the less.

So Blessed

2008-09-29T09:55:00.003-05:00

We are so blessed to have Samuel in our lives. He is such a good baby and our love for him is overwhelming. Davis is a wonderful big brother and is always kissing on Samuel. We are also blessed to have such good friends and a wonderful church family. We have had meals provided for the last two weeks and this past Saturday our mini-church hosted a baby shower for us. We got a lot of diapers and formula and some other goodies. They sang happy birthday to Samuel and we had a great time of fellowship.

Here are a few recent pictures:

Samuel and Daddy getting a quick nap:

Samuel enjoying his activity mat:

Tummy time:

One Month Well Check

2008-09-25T12:15:00.003-05:00

I thought I would include all of Samuel's stats on this blog so I can find them easily when I need them.

At his one month appointment today he was:

11 lbs 2 oz (75%)
23 inches (80 -85%)
14.75 (head circum.) (25 - 30%)

Overall, he is doing very well. He had to get one shot today (Hep B) and he screamed for a bit. He'll get a lot more shots at his two month appointment. I am not looking forward to that.

Based on the symptoms I described crying and arching his back during feedings), the doctor thinks he might be developing a little bit of reflux. It is making feedings pretty difficult and he'll only eat a little bit at a time. We are going to keep an eye on it over the next week or so and if he does not do better, we'll call the doctor for a suggestion.

Checking in (with pictures and a video)

2008-09-19T12:07:00.004-05:00

Samuel is now 3 1/2 weeks old and growing like a weed. When he went to the doctor earlier this week, he was up to 10 lbs, 5 oz. (up 2 lbs from his birth weight). He goes for his one month check up (and his first round of shots) next week. I am hoping he does ok with his shots. We have our first post-placement visit scheduled for Oct. 25. We have to do two of them before the adoption can be finalized. Texas requires a six month wait for finalization so we are looking at the end of February, early March for finalization. I hope that the termination of paternal rights happens in the next month or two so that will not slow up the finalization.

Davis is adjusting really well. He loves being a big brother. He is so helpful and whenever Samuel cries he tells us and tries to figure out what he may need. It is so cute.

Attached are a few pictures of my boys and a video taken today of Samuel in his crib for the first time.

Davis acting like a goof ball at a birthday party:

Samuel in his swing (which he loves):

Samuel in his crib for the first time today checking out his mobile:

And now for the video:

Test drive from Chris Turner on Vimeo.

Well Check

2008-09-06T18:29:00.003-05:00

We took Samuel to our pediatrician for a well check last Thursday (Sept. 4, 12 days old). I don't think it was necessary since he saw a pediatrician in Georgia before we left but I wanted our doctor to check him out just to be sure things were going ok. He is doing great. His weight was up to 9 lb 3 oz (50-75%), his length was 22 inches (90-95%), and his head circumference was 14 inches (25%). They were impressed with his weight gain. At this rate, he'll be out of his 0 - 3 month clothes really soon. He wore one of Davis' outfits yesterday and it fit him perfectly. The outfit was worn by Davis in his 3 mo pictures.

We are starting to get into a routine. I am still really tired but functioning pretty well. Things are great. Davis is adjusting really well to being a big brother. Now, just to organize the house!

We're Home

2008-09-04T09:10:00.002-05:00

Samuel and I are finally home. I got a call from our social worker on Tuesday night that Texas ICPC was missing a few things (our finger print and child abuse clearances) that were attached to our home study. We don't know who took the home study apart but somehow those items got left out of the package to Texas. Our social worker faxed them in early Wednesday morning and I received a call around noon from our agency that everything had been cleared. I was booked on a flight home yesterday evening within 15 minutes of getting the word. Of course, my plane had mechanical troubles and I didn't get home until after 9:00, but we made it and Samuel did great on the flight.

Davis was so excited to see us that he talked the entire drive home. It was really cute although I imagine that he is going to be bad at school today since he got so little sleep. Now, I just need to organize our house. It is a disaster!

For your viewing pleasure, here are a few pictures:

Still in Georgia

2008-08-31T14:15:00.002-05:00

I am still in Georgia waiting for ICPC to clear. Today makes three weeks here and Samuel's one week birthday. Chris and Davis left on Friday afternoon and could not find a hotel anywhere in the entire state of Louisiana so they drove all of the way to Longview, Texas before stopping and made it home by noon on Saturday. I really miss them both but Samuel and I are doing great. He's got his days/nights switched but we are working on that. I hope to get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time tonight but we'll see. I am vegging around the hotel today and resting whenever I can. Housekeeping is in our room now so I got up from the couch and headed to the lobby so I have a chance to catch up a bit. I am really hoping ICPC clears on Tuesday morning so I can get out of here on Tuesday evening. I am afraid that the remaints of Gustav will make it really hard to fly into DFW on Wed or Thursday, keeping me here longer.

My dad and little brother drove up to Atlanta from the New Orleans area yesterday. They are staying with my sister. I'll probably go over there to visit with them all tomorrow. I would have gone today but I feel like I really need to take it easy today.

I'll post a ton of pictures when I get home.

Birth Story and More

2008-08-26T10:22:00.004-05:00

I am finally able to post (I am at the computer in the lobby of the hotel). Chris put together this e-mail to go to our family and friends so I thought I'd just post it here as it is a detailed description of the birth and the mess that happended the next day. All is good now though. Samuel is home (in the hotel in Georgia) with us and we are working to get into a groove.

Chris' message:
When we last left our heroes, they were preparing for the birth mom to have labor induced at 5 AM Sunday morning. They had picked up the birth mom, and brought her back to the vacation house they were renting, to minimize travel time in the wee morning hours....

Knowing the early hour we'd have to get moving to get to the hospital, all of us were in bed by 10 PM. Of course, none of us actually slept. Kelly & I tossed and turned, while our birth mom did likewise as well as made repeated trips to the bathroom. About 11:45, and one such trip, she called to Kelly from the hallway. Kel was at the door in a flash, and our birth mom uttered one word to vault us in to action: "Contractions."

We were rolling out of the driveway by 11:56, and through the miracle of modern automobile transportation known as "speeding", we arrived at the hospital just after 12:30 AM. Therein we stumbled upon the first sign of trouble: they had no record of our birth mom in their system. No evidence of an induction procedure at 5 AM.

Nevertheless, with contractions coming in the neighborhood of 3-5 minutes apart, and dropping, we were going to have a baby delivered there. We got through triage and in to a birthing suite. Birth mom was dilated to 9 cm, and, sadly, too far along for pain meds of any sort; it was going to be the old-fashioned way. During all of this, we'd encountered the second sign of trouble: no one on duty in the labor/
delivery section spoke Spanish. Our birth mom speaks *very* limited English. No one on the staff seemed to think that perhaps having someone available who spoke both languages would be helpful. Nevertheless, the circle of life pressed onward, so did we. The doctor, thankfully, did speak Spanish, which at least helped in his communication with the birth mom. She had a rough go of it, tiring quickly, but finally at 2:36 AM--I know, because I looked at the big clock on the wall--out came our little boy. (Third sign of trouble: the staff called time of birth at 2:40 AM. By 2:40 AM, he'd been wiped down by a medical assistant and given his first APGAR test.) Vitals: 8 pounds, 5 ounces, 20.5 inches in length. Ten fingers, ten toes, two
eyes, two ears, one squished little nose.

Birth mom had complications I won't go in to here for the sake of the squeamish, but it resulted in stitching and being carted off to the OR. We got to spend about 45 minutes with the new little one in our lives. As we neared the moment when they were going to take birth mom to the OR, we encountered the fourth sign of trouble: ID bands. Standard procedure is apparently to band the mother, band the baby, and then band one other individual determined by the mother. Through the previous talks we'd had with our birth mom, that other individual was supposed to be Kelly. We asked about this as they were banding birth mom and baby. We were told they had to ask her; only the only person who could do that had taken his leave of us, and our poor birth mom was rapidly falling in to incoherence out of sheer exhaustion. We
were assured by the staff that when we came back in the morning, they'd have an answer from the birth mom, etc.

So, with birth mom being carted off to the OR, and our boy being carted off to the nursery, we drove back to the rental house for a few hours of sleep.

(Some of you might be wondering why the ID bands are such a big deal. Nutshell: it's a security procedure to limit access to the baby outside of the nursery until the baby is discharged from the hospital.)

As I stated previously, my folks had driven over from Birmingham to stay with Davis while we took care of all of this, so we left them at the house while we went back to the hospital. Sign of trouble #5: we couldn't locate birth mom in the maternity ward. Turned out that she was shipped over to the regular hospital wing after her discharge from surgery recovery. We met with her, and in our limited language
experiences, found that she was doing well, and had gotten a lot more rest than we had over the past few hours.

We asked her about the ID bands, and she told us that she'd told some staffer that she wanted Kelly to have one. Only our birth mom had the 3d ID band *on her other wrist*. What we've deduced has happened is that because birth mom doesn't know our last name (and this is intentional), and the staffers she was dealing with this morning were not the ones she, and we, had dealt with during labor & delivery, no
one knew who "Kelly" was.

To wrap up what's rapidly becoming a long story, we didn't get to visit with our little guy outside the confines of the nursery. We were limited to looking at him through those big panes of glass. We were devastated, and not a little angry. Lots of she said-she said from the staffers, the language barrier, and necessary legal requirements to ensure the safety of the baby had coalesced to see that we would not
be holding our new little man this day.

The kicker: after speaking with our local adoption agency director, we were informed that, legally, the birth mom could appoint whomever she wanted to have that third band, and it didn't matter when that occurred, or if the birth mom was in possession of third band, as we'd found her. Of course, we didn't get this information until dinner time.

Oh, and did I mention that we had to vacate the rental house and move to new living quarters?

Yep, we took care of that, too. Kelly's company owns a Residence Inn in the Atlanta area, and we got a super-low corporate rate. So we packed up the minivan, then unpacked the minivan, and we're in the new digs, much closer to the hospital.

So what's the plan for tomorrow? Our agency director--who assured us she's *never* had this type of issue crop up at this particular hospital before, unlike other hospitals in the area--has left a detailed message for the maternity ward social worker we're going to meet in the morning. Hopefully we'll get all of this cleared up and we'll once again have our baby boy in our arms for a while.

We're guessing birth mom and baby will be discharged on Tuesday, and that's when she'll terminate parental rights, we'll sign the papers we have to sign, and Samuel Patrick--that's the name we're going with-- will be handed over to us.

Thanks for all of the prayers.

Its a Boy!

2008-08-24T20:02:00.006-05:00

This will be quick since I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night and the baby isn't even home yet. R didn't make it to her scheduled induction. Her contractions started around a quarter to midnight and we rushed to the hospital. By the time she got checked in, she was already 9 cm dilated and too far along to get any pain meds. The pain was excrutiating for her, but she did it.

At 2:36 am, she delivered a beautiful baby boy. He weighed 8 lbs. 5 oz. and was 20.5 inches long. We got to spend about 45 minutes with him before they took him to the nursery. There was a HUGE mix up at the hospital and they would not let us see him at all today (more on that later). We were devastated, not to mention angry. We plan to be at the hospital social worker's office around 9 am tomorrow (Monday) to get things resolved. R will be signing her surrender papers either tomorrow or on Tuesday. I'll post more detail later, as well as a picture of Samuel Patrick. (Blogger's currently giving me problems with uploading pictures.)

Induction Scheduled

2008-08-22T16:59:00.002-05:00

We arrived at the clinic for R's 2:00 appointment and didn't get out of there until 4:00 but we did leave with an induction scheduled. If she doesn't deliver earlier, we go in on Sunday at 5:00 am. Its finally going to happen. I just hope labor and delivery go smoothly for R.

Continue to pray for us, R and the baby.

Thanks.

Getting Ready for Doctor

2008-08-22T08:59:00.002-05:00

We are taking R to her doctor's appointment today at 2:00. She is one week past her original due date and 10 days past her revised due date. I expect them to do a vaginal exam today to check her cervix since they did not do one last time and I understand that is pretty common at this stage. I also hope that they schedule an induction soon. I am concerned about the size of the baby. It was 8.5 lbs at the ultrasound 2 weeks ago. I am afraid that if it gets too big, R will need a C-section and I don't want her to have to go through that.

One thing that has been cool about being here for so long with nothing to do is all of the cool stuff that C, D and I have done. We have seen 3 movie, gone to the Georgia Aquarium and Zoo Atlanta. Its been great spending all of the quality time with D just us. Another thing that I have noticed a lot since we have been here are a very large number of mixed race and mixed ethnicity families. Maybe I am just noticing it more or maybe Atlanta is more progressive than my little burb. I met a lady at the zoo that adopted two children from Ethiopia and another lady that had done two domestic adoptions and was going to Ethiopia for her third. There have been a lot of other examples but I havn't talked to any of the others.

Wish us luck today at the doctor. I am hoping they tell us to go straight to the hospital but not holding my breath.

Past Due

2008-08-20T19:51:00.003-05:00

R is now one week past her due date and we are very anxious. Not only did we spend a ton of money to be up here for the last two weeks when we could/should have been at home and we now have to pay for up to two more weeks here depending on when she finally delivers, I have used up two of my 12 weeks off with no baby. The house we have been at the past two weeks is great but it was too expensive to begin with and we definitely can't afford to stay here longer. Luckily my company manages a Marriott Residence Inn in Duluth, Georgia and they gave me a fantastic rate on a one bedroom suite so I'll be moving there when our time is up here. C and D plan to leave here on Saturday unless at R's appointment on Friday they schedule an induction. D starts a new school on Monday and we'd like him to be there unless there is a really good reason (like a new brother/sister) not to. If R has not delivered, they will probably have to come back when she does so C can sign the necessary paperwork (although I have asked the lawyer if he can presign so C does not have to drive the 15 hours back and/or pay for a flight). I'll stay here with the baby until our ICPC paperwork clears (7 - 10 days after it is submitted and it is usually submitted the day after the surrender is signed; surrender signed 24 - 48 hours after the birth). I plan to fly home with the baby. I am really concerned about C and D spending that much time on the road if they make two trips back and forth so I think flying is the best option although I am not sure how I'll handle it with the baby. I am sure that everything will work out the way it is supposed to. I just really hope that she delivers soon so C can be here for the delivery.

Still Waiting

2008-08-14T12:45:00.003-05:00

We made it to Atlanta LATE on Sunday. At some point on our drive our air conditioner broke so the last 4 hours was pretty miserable. The house we are staying in is great but we only have it through next Sunday so if R does not deliver soon, we'll have to make other arrangements. All day Monday we could not reach R so finally that night we showed up at R's house to make sure she was ok. I imagine she was surprised to see us but I hope she was not upset. Her phone had been cut off so we were able to get that paid and turned back on so we could reach her. On Tuesday, we took D to the Georgia aquarium and we took the car into the dealership to get a new air compressor (more $$ that we didn't have budgeted at this time). We had a good time at the aquarium.

Yesterday, we picked R up and took her to lunch and then to her doctor's appointment. We were able to communicate a little bit. I went back with her at her appointment and they did not do a vaginal exam. All they did was check her urine, blood pressure and measure her. It seems weird to me that they did not do a vaginal this late in the game but I do not know what is normal. After the doctor, we took R to meet with the lawyer and the translator so she could go over all of the paper work and arrangements at the hospital. I know that this is incredibly hard for R. She cried at least twice yesterday. I know that she knows that it is best for her to place the child with us but it is breaking her heart and mine too. I am praying for peace for her. I hope she takes up our offer for counseling for her after the birth. She has been through so much already. I know counseling will help her a lot. Today we are just hanging out at our house but are hoping to get the call to go to the hospital so we can get home soon. D starts school on the 25th so he and Chris will probably have to leave here before we can leave with the baby. Its at least 7 - 10 days after the surrender documents are signed for the ICPC approval to come in. We'll work out logistics when we need to. Continue to pray for us, R and the baby. Thanks.

Heading Out

2008-08-10T06:24:00.002-05:00

We are heading out the door soon on our 15+ hour drive to Atlanta. We have a very busy day planned tomorrow. We are going to pick up R and bring her to her doctor's appointment and then all three of us will head to the lawyer's office. She will have a translator available for R.

Please pray that we have a safe drive and that everything goes smoothly over the next two weeks.

I'll try to post from Atlanta if I can.

Gearing Up

2008-08-07T21:42:00.003-05:00

Unless R delivers early, we will be heading to the Atlanta area on Sunday. We were going to use our timeshare to stay someplace so we wouldn't have to come out of pocket for the time we have to stay in Georgia but every condo on our list were all booked. We ended up finding what looks like a great place on a about 45 minutes north of the hospital where R will deliver. It is a 3 bedroom so if we have any guests during the two week period (my sister lives really close and C's parents live a few hours away), we'll have a room for them. That was not an expense we budgeted but we'll make it work. I am hoping that by leaving on Sunday, we will be able to be there for the delivery. We'll know more tomorrow after R's doctor appointment.

The house is coming together. We completed what we are calling "the great room reshuffle of 2008." The junk room was cleaned out and D's room was moved into there. D's room was repainted and the guest room was moved into that room. Finally, the former guest room was set up as the nursery. It is missing the dresser/changing table since it is still used for D's clothes. We need to order his new furniture but might have to wait until we get some more funds before we do that. If we have money left after all of the adoption expenses, we'll buy it now. Otherwise, we'll wait until my bonus in January.

Due to R's need for us to cover some living expenses, we are having to do an identified agency adoption in Georgia. Our Georgia attorney also has an agency so we'll use her agency. I have no idea yet what all that means but hope to hear from them soon as to what that will mean for us and R.

That is it for now. I'll try to update after we talk to R tomorrow after her appointment.

Update

2008-08-04T17:56:00.002-05:00

I finally heard back from our adoption adviser/translator. She had three "baby born" situations (where the mother decides to place the babies for adoption after they are born) that she was dealing with today so her schedule got all messed up. We have rescheduled the call for tomorrow at 11:30. She indicated that R had called her too wondering about the call and wanted to make sure we were still on board so it sounds like we were both worrying. She needed to call R to make sure the rescheduled time would work and got a brief update that she e-mailed me. R had her ultrasound on Saturday and the baby is already 8.5lbs. They could not tell the gender. I imagine there is no room for the baby to be moving so it is impossible to get a good look. They moved her due date up to the 12th from the 14th. We are hoping to make it past the 9th (D's birthday party is on the 9th) but with the baby that big already, I'll be surprised if that happens. D was 3 lbs 9 oz when he was born and was almost 3 mo old before he weighed 8.5lbs so having a big baby will definitely be a new experience. The projects around the house are coming along. We found the cutest gender neutral nursery decorations at a consignment shop. C's grandmother got it and the bassinet for us. We only need to buy a few more things (car seat and tub) and then I think we'll be ready. So exciting.

Nervous

2008-08-04T13:44:00.001-05:00

We were supposed to have a call with R and our agency translator today at 12:30. Its now 1:45 and we have not heard a thing despite my e-mails and phone calls inquiring as to the status of our call. I can't help but be pessimistic and think that something is wrong or that R is having second thoughts. I hope to be able to update the blog tonight or tomorrow with good news.

The Excitement is Building

2008-07-31T09:23:00.004-05:00

The excitement is building. With each day that passes, I am more excited. In just two short weeks, we will be holding our son or daughter. I can't wait. I really believe this is going to work out. I continue to pray for R and the decision she is making. I know it is really difficult on her and I hope she will have some peace knowing that her baby is already loved by us. D has been carrying around his stuffed wolf (Jackson) saying that Jackson is the little brother and he is practicing to be a big brother. Its so darn cute. He has been pretending that he is Jackson's big brother for months now but now he is practicing because he knows it will be true soon. I know he is going to be a great big brother. I just hope all of the changes are not too much for him to handle.

I just removed the adoption ticker at the bottom of my blog that said 11 month 1 week and 1 day waiting for a match. Our total wait was exactly 11 months. It seems like a whole lot longer than that. We have some last minute hurdles we need to get accomplished. We need our homestudy updated to allow us to adopt an hispanic baby but that was supposedly in the works well before we matched with R. I talked to our social worker yesterday and he is going to move our update to the top of his pile. We need to have it pretty soon after birth so as to not delay our ICPC approval.

The interstate aspect of all of this is interesting. Being a lawyer, I am really into how all of this will work (although I know NOTHING about adoption law). Our two lawyers - one from Georgia and one from Texas - are talking to determine which state's law will apply with respect to relinquishment time, etc. The laws of Texas are much more favorable to the adoptive parents. We should know more on that soon.

I am meeting with my three bosses (my supervisor, his boss and the second person in charge of our department) today to discuss how my matters will be handled while I am on leave. I intend to take 12 weeks off (8 weeks paid adoption leave and 4 weeks vacation). I have been scrambling to get a lot of projects wrapped up before I am out and spent most of yesterday cleaning off my desk and deleting messages from my inbox. Hopefully that meeting will go well.

I promised an update

2008-07-29T13:14:00.002-05:00

It is looking more and more like we will be meeting our baby soon. We were selected by a birthmom (R) in Georgia to parent her baby. Our best estimate is that she is due on August 14 but she just went to her first prenatal appointment this past Saturday and they did not do an ultrasound so I am not sure about that due date. We had our match call yesterday and it went really well. R said she was secure in her decision to place the child for adoption and was praying a lot for peace. There is a langauge issue as R only speaks Spanish so we had a translator from our agency on the call. She has another doctor's appointment this coming Friday and an ultrasound this coming Saturday. We currently have weekly calls scheduled every Monday to find out about her doctor's appointments and how she is progressing. C and I are very anxious to find out the gender of the baby so we can go shopping. We gave away a lot of our baby stuff to a family member so we need to buy a new car seat, bassinet, and a lot of other stuff. Obviously if its a girl we have to buy a whole new wardrobe. Once R goes into labor, C, D and I will hop in the car and drive 15 hours to Georgia. We have to stay in Georgia for about 2 weeks after the baby is born to deal with the inter-state issues. D's birthday party (he is turning 5!) is scheduled for August 9 so if we are already in Georgia at that time, C and D will probably fly home for his party.

This is getting long and wordy but as you can tell, we have a lot on our plates and are struggling to clean out our junk room so we can totally rearrange all of the bedrooms in our house. Good news is that the baby will be in our room for a few months so we have some time to get all of that done.

Although we are excited, we are not as excited as I thought we would be. I think we are too worried about R changing her mind or something else happening to mess this up to be super excited. We have guarded hearts. We are praying a lot for R and the baby and I know that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

We've been picked!

2008-07-24T19:03:00.002-05:00

We have been picked by a mother in Georgia. Her due date is August 14. I am cautiously optimistic. More later!

Horoscope

2008-07-19T12:28:00.003-05:00

I am not one to normally read horoscopes let alone believe in them but I picked up a free copy of OK! Magazine somewhere and read this horoscope for last week that is actually pretty accurate.

Cancer: From Wednesday on, be alert to opportunities and be prepared to move fast. Certainly you're discouraged by recent events, but all in takes is one piece of good fortune to change things for the better. Your task is to recognize that luck, and to vanquish your doubts. You'll be particularly successful if you involve the person closest to you. In this case, two heads are worth twice as much.

Seems appropriate given my week last week.

Birthday Flowers

2008-07-16T13:53:00.001-05:00

Chris sent me the prettiest pink roses today for my birthday. I thought I would share a picture. Sorry the picture is crappy but I took it with my blac.k.ber.rry.

Thank you Chris!

Crazy Day

2008-07-15T19:48:00.002-05:00

I was actually looking forward to writing a post to update you on the news we got today. We got picked by a birth mom in our state but about 5 hours after we got the call I got another call to tell us that she had already changed her mind. Once our case worker called her back and told her how excited we were she started having second thoughts and her parents agreed to help her out so she decided that she wants to parent the baby girl after all. I guess we are "lucky" it happened now instead of right before the baby was born, or worse yet, after the baby was born, but it still hurts a little. At least we finally got picked. I was looking just this morning at a new agency and considering giving them a try. I think I'll stick with ours a bit longer and see what happens.

Birthday and Other Thoughts

2008-07-14T16:39:00.004-05:00

My 38th (yikes!) birthday is on Wednesday (7/16) and when I look back at my life its pretty good. I am obviously not exactly where I wanted to be given that we still only have one kid, but overall things are pretty good. I have a great job that I love and that gives me a lot of flexibility. I have a husband that I love dearly. I have the most precious son I could have ever hoped for. He is truly a gift from God that I treasure every day.

Happy birthday to me!

Three Strikes

2008-07-02T14:49:00.003-05:00

I met with the surgeon yesterday and he said that although he loves to perform surgery and would love to look more closesly at my strange anatomy, he did not think that surgery would help at all. He said that I have three things going against me: my uterine anomoly, my poor ovarian reserve and the adhesions. He did not think the benefits would outweigh even the remotest risk of surgery. This officially ends our TTC. I am more focused than ever in making our profile more appealing (although for the life of me, I can't find a reason why it is not appealing as it is).

The girl that my dad knows (see prior entries about her) is still interested in adoption (although she has not submitted any of the paperwork to our agency). I actually spoke to her a week or so ago and she is a really sweet. I continue to hope and pray that it works out with her. My two biggest concerns are the birth father (they are no longer together and do not get along at all and she is not sure he will consent to the adoption) and her lack of prenatal care. Based on the math that I did, her due date would be around early October but she hasn't seen a doctor other than going to the hospital when she was about 9 weeks. I am hoping that if we get officially matched, that our agency can help her get signed up for state insurance so she can get the care that she and the baby deserve. If you are the praying kind, please say a prayer for her and the baby. Even if she decides to parent herself, she needs prayers.

Homestudy Update

2008-06-29T08:16:00.001-05:00

We had our home visit yesterday for our home study update. Our social worker told us numerous times that he has only had to do 2 - 3 three updates for couples who without referrals with our agency. He went on to say that he does not understand why we do not have a referral yet. We are going to seriously look at our profile and pictures and see if we need to change anything. We've been live on the web site for over 10 months and their average wait time is 4 months so we are way over the average. I don't understand what is so unappealing about us but I plan to figure it out. I really hope and pray that we do not have to wait too much longer.

One Last Ditch Effort

2008-06-25T12:53:00.002-05:00

I finally heard back from my RE's office. My FSH level was 9.4 and my estradiol level was 49. The FSH is a tad higher than he likes (he prefers under 8.5) but its not abnormally high unless its 10 or higher. Also, since they only saw one antral follicle on the US, they do not recommend IVF. My last option is to have additional surgery to attempt to remove the adhesions that are causing my ovary to be trapped against the pelvic wall. I have a consult with a surgeon next week to get his thoughts on whether additional surgery is worth it. This doctor is supposedly a phenomenal surgeon and a lot of doctors send their more difficult cases of pelvic adhesions and endometriosis to him. My RE said that if we can free the ovary and elimimate most of the adhesions that I will at least have a chance of conceiving with an IUI cycle. I figure its worth the consult. Wish me luck!

News Is Not Good

2008-06-18T15:36:00.004-05:00

I went this afternoon for my day 3 bloodwork and my day 3 ultrasound. I am still awaiting my FSH and estrogen results but the US did not look good at all. The RE (not my regular one but the other one in the practice) had a hard time finding my ovary and was only able to find one (1!) antral follicle. He advised against IVF, saying that my chances were 3 - 5%. With those chances, I don't think that I can spend the money on the IVF meds. I might see what my blood test results are and go back in next cycle to see if my RE has better luck but if the results look the same, it will probably be the end of ART for me (unless we pursue donor eggs and that does not appeal to me at this point). I am not as sad/upset as I thought I would be. I think that I knew in my heart of hearts what the US would show. I am so blessed to have D (and the more I learn about my f'ed up anatomy, the more I believe that he truly is a gift from God). I know that we will have another child one way or another when the time is right. I just hope its sooner rather than later!

Follow-Up Appointment and Adoption Update

2008-06-09T21:39:00.005-05:00

I met with my RE today for my follow up from the lap. He showed me the pictures of my uterus and all of the scar tissue and adhesions that were there. What a mess! The good news from all of this is that he said that my uterus is about 80% of a normal sized uterus. I do not have a left ovary at all and he was unable to find my right ovary due to adhesions and/or scar tissue. He was afraid to start cutting the adhesions in a hunt for my ovary because he would have been doing it blindly and he was afraid that he might cut other important vessels, etc. The bad news is that with my ovary stuck behind scar tissue, etc., the chances of a pregnancy without IVF are VERY small. He thinks that any eggs would likely get stuck behind all of the scar tissue and not make it to the tube. Due to this, Follistim is no longer a viable option. If we are going to continue to pursue ART, we will be moving to IVF. I have a couple of concerns about doing it given my f'ed up anatomy. Not only is it a really big expense (meds are not covered), there is the physical/emotional aspect of taking all of those hormones. With only one ovary and being almost 38, I am concerned that I just won't produce enough eggs to make it worth the trouble. I am going to go in for a scan and FSH level on CD3 next cycle. He wants to make sure that he can still find the ovary with US.

Question for any readers: Do you know anyone with only one ovary that successfully tried IVF? How many eggs can one expect to produce per ovary (I know this varies based on a lot of factors but some of your experiences would be appreciated). Thanks for any responses or thoughts on whether this is the right choice for us.

On the adoption front, the girl that my dad knows is interested in pursuing adoption. We hope that our agency will get in touch with her soon to get more information. Our updated home visit is scheduled for the end of the month and we just got our FBI clearances.

People Disgust Me!

2008-05-29T09:58:00.010-05:00

This story disgusts me on so many levels. How these two "parents" could abandon their twins just because they are girls is beyond comprehension. I wouldn't usually wish infertility on anyone, but here's hoping that any future IVF attempts are a failure for them. They do not deserve success.

Updated to fix the link.

Surgery/ Adoption Update

2008-05-23T20:10:00.004-05:00

I had my surgery today and am doing really well. The only pain is the referred pain from the gas. Both my shoulders are killing me but moving around and using a heating pad is helping some. I'll know more after I see my doctor in two weeks but he did talk to C about what he found (or didn't find). There was a lot of scar tissue/adhesions. He was able to get rid of most of it. He indicated that my uterus is actually bicornuate instead of unicornuate. The second horn is rudimentary/undeveloped. He could not find a left ovary at all and thinks that that entire side did not develop. Its the side that has never shown anything on ultrasound. He could not see my right ovary either. C indicated that doctor said there was too much stuff in the way (he did not ask what stuff) to see it. The more procedures, etc. that I have, the more I am convinced that D is our miracle.

On the adoption front, we are in the process of updating our homestudy. We got fingerprinted yesterday and I mailed them off to the FBI for processing today. Our social worker is coming for the visit on 6/28 and we have gathered all of the reference letters and medical update letters that we need. Before last year's home visit, I was a complete wreck about cleaning the house, etc. This year I am much more laid back. I am going to clean up (we have a lot of clutter), but not going to obsess like last year.

My dad called last night and he knows a young girl who is 21 week pregnant and went for an abortion but couldn't afford the abortion (thank God!) so did not get it. She is possibly now interested in adoption and he is going to check with her to see if it is ok if our agency calls her on our behalf. We could do it outside of the agency and save a lot of money but they know all of the questions to ask, background checks to run, etc. so we are probably going to go that route if she is interested. If you are the praying kind, please pray that God protects this mother and her child and that she continues to stay away from the abortion clinic and chooses adoption (even if we are not the right parents for her child).

Surgery Scheduled

2008-05-20T20:01:00.002-05:00

I sent my RE an e-mail about timing of my lap and he said he could do it on CD5 so I have scheduled it for this Friday. That gives me over a week to recover for my vacation which I hope is enough time. I am anxious to see what he finds (if anything). I can't believe that I have ttc over 8 years of my life total and this is the first time any doctor has ever mentioned doing this. It might not show anything but we'll never know until we do it. So wish me luck on Friday at 3:00.

Why do I do this to myself?

2008-05-15T09:35:00.002-05:00

A big thank you to all of the commenters on my last post. Based on the comments, it looks like I am going to hold off on my lap for a cycle. I know its only one month, but that is a long time when you are my age. I turn 38 in July and move to a new category of IVF statistics and do not like them one bit.

I did something completely idiotic today. I am about 9 DPO and thought I would POAS this morning since I had one test left. I saw two lines show up immediately and I was so excited I even woke C up to tell him that we were pg. I was so excited and couldn't believe my eyes. Once I got a clear head, I opened the directions to the test and realized the two lines that I saw were both control lines - I was not pg after all. I can't believe that I did that. I want it so much that I fabricated a positive HPT. What an idiot. Why do I do this to myself?

Visit with RE and Adoption Update

2008-05-07T19:36:00.005-05:00

I am tired of doing nothing so I decided to be proactive and made an appointment with my RE to discuss other options. All I have done so far is clomid/femara and IUIs. With my unicornuate uterus, I have been too afraid to do injectibles due to the risk of multiples but after talking the the doctor, we have a game plan. Next cycle, I will go in for day 3 blood work and then I will schedule an operative laparoscopy to check for scar tissue or endometriosis that might be preventing my tube from grabbing my eggs. Depending on how that comes back, I will either move on to injectibles with IUI or IVF. Luckily I still have some insurance coverage available (although meds are excluded). I am excited to be doing something (waiting for an adoption match is brutal!) but nervous at the same time.

A few questions for anyone that might know the answers: What is the recovery time for laparoscopic surgery? Would it be a problem for me to have this surgery the day before we go on vacation? Vacation will include a 4 hour car ride and there will be a lot of walking around that week. What is the cheapest place to get injectible meds? Is it better to go to a local pharmacy or is an online pharmacy better?

On the adoption front, we are in the process of updating our homestudy. When I called our social worker to talk about the update, he was surprised that we hadn't matched since almost all of the other couples that he works with using our facilitator match very quickly. I'll tell you that made me feel great! I called and they suggested that we open up to additional ethnicities. They thought that would counter the fact that I am not a stay at home mom. Its all very frustrating. We'll talk to the SW about that and probably have our updated homestudy include some additional ethnicities.

Thats it for now.

Thoughts on Prematurity

2008-04-21T15:13:00.002-05:00

This weekend I walked in the March of Dimes March for Babies at Norbuck Park near White Rock Lake. For those of you interested, its not too late to donate - just go here and you can donate online. All along the route there are signs in honor of and in memory of babies that were born too soon. I read every one of the signs along the 5 mile route and saw many babies that were born later than D with "in memory of" signs. With all of the stories that I have read in the IF world lately about babies being born as early as 24 - 25 weeks, I am forever grateful that I was able to carry D to 31 weeks. When I look at my beautiful, healthy boy, it is easy to forget that things could have definitely turned out differently. I am not really sure of the point of this post other than to say how grateful and thankful I am to God that D is healthy and stronfg and I hope and pray that if I ever have another child, God will provide in the same way.

Abbreviations

2008-04-03T09:50:00.004-05:00

Since C recently posted a link to my blog on his blog, several people not familiar with all of the IF abbreviations have stopped by. In an attempt to help them decipher some of the posts, I thought I'd provide this link to a list compiled by Mel of blogging abbreviations that a lot of IF/adoption bloggers use. I hope this helps.

That Time of Year Again

2008-03-25T10:11:00.004-05:00

Every year since 2004, C and I have walked in the March of Dimes WalkAmerica to raise money for the March of Dimes. Over those years, we have raised close to $5,000 for an organization that is near and dear to our hearts. D was born 9 weeks premature and spent 7 weeks in the NICU at Medical City Dallas Hospital and if I ever get pregnant again the chances of having another premature birth are really high due to my unicornuate uterus, therefor the work of the March of Dimes is very important to me personally. I am oficially kicking off my fundraising for 2008's March of Dimes March for Babies (they renamed WalkAmerica) and ask anyone who is so inclined, to please consider donating to this worthy cause. Please follow this link to donate online. Feel free to leave any questions that you might have in the comments and I'll get back to you. Thank you.

Opportunity????

2008-03-22T22:02:00.002-05:00

It has been forever since I have updated this blog because there has been nothing to report on the adoption front. I am considering cycling again just to give myself something to do while we wait for a match. It is very difficult for a person who is typically in control of everything to wait and realize that there is nothing that I or C can do to make this adoption happen sooner.

We did get an e-mail today about a potential opportunity. The birthmother, her sister and her nephew all have bi-polar disorder and ADD/ADHD. She has a 2 year old that has no known health problems. They are asking all potential adoptive parents who want to be shown to the mother/father to let them know as soon as possible. This is a difficult decision since I know someone who suffers with bi-polar disorder and she is a mess. She, however, does not have any family support and I do not know if that plays a factor in how she has dealt with her disorder. If anyone reading this (if anyone even still reads this blog) has any insight into bi-polar disorder and ADD/ADHD, I would appreciate any thoughts. It is so tempting to jump at these opportunities since we are so anxious to get a match, however, we need to be sure it is the right decision for us and the birthmother/father.

Tough Question from a 4 year old

2008-01-01T19:29:00.000-06:00

Although D has mentioned wanting a brother or sister before, earlier today was the first time he really asked why he didn't have one. One of his friends asked him today if he had a brother or sister (his friend has a little brother) and he had to say no, its just me, mommy and daddy. As we are driving home and he is telling about this exchange, he says that big brothers are helpful and he wants to help mommy and daddy make a brother or sister because he really wants one. I had to tactfully explain that big brothers cannot help in that way and that we were seeing a doctor to get help and also hoping that someone picks us as parents. It sucks that he is starting to notice these things more.

BFN

2007-12-01T23:49:00.000-06:00

I broke down and POAS but got a BFN! I am not surprised but still really disappointed. I am now trying to decide if I want to cycle again next month or take some time off from officially ttc and focus on the adoption and getting healthy.

At a church function tonight we went around the room to say what we were thankful for during the past year. I started crying when it was my turn (I am such a stupid sap) and told everyone that I am most thankful for D. Everyone at the party knows about my IF struggles and the adoption so hopefully they understood why I was crying!

14.2

2007-11-26T16:13:00.001-06:00

My progesterone level is 14.2, which means that I actually ovulated this cycle (they were looking for a 12 or better). We don't know when but its at least something given that its only the 3rd time this year that it has happened. I'll keep my fingers crossed the next few days and if AF does not show by Saturday I'll POAS. Wish me luck!

K

8 Kids and Counting

2007-11-23T12:41:00.000-06:00

While C's parents were in town for Thanksgiving, I learned that one of C's cousin's wife is pregnant with her 8th (yes that is eighth) baby. She is going to have 8 kids 9 and under! Only two of them are twins. They can't afford to take care of the ones they have but do not see anything wrong with procreating again. Given that my MIL and grandmother in law know about the adoption, I did let it slip that I thought it was unfair that C and I couldn't have another child but they can have 8 kids that they can't really take care of. They both agreed whole-heartedly so that made me feel a little better.

Other than that, our Thanksgiving was really nice. C's parents and grandmother are so great with D and even though he only gets to see them a few times of the year, he adores them too.

I hope everyone had a nice day.

Update

2007-11-21T12:55:00.000-06:00

We do not have any updates on the adoption front. We are still waiting for a match. We did get a call from ANLC about our homestudy. Since we are being marketed to races other than caucasion, we need to have our homestudy updated. I'll call the social worker after Thanksgiving about that. I added a ticker at the bottom of the page to keep track of the time since our profile went live. We are just under 3 months now. Seems like a lot longer.

In the meantime, we are still TTC just in case. This cycle I tried a new drug (for me), Fermara, but I either ovulated early or did not ovulate at all. When I went to the RE for my scan on day 13, my uterine lining was whitish so RE thought maybe I o'ed already. I went today to get a progesterone draw to see for sure. Either way, no IUI for us this cycle. I may or may not try again. This year I have done 4 clomid cycles (and o'd once) and one femara. Last year, I did 4-5 clomid cycles with a different RE (but o'd almost every time). I am getting really tired of taking drugs and suffering through hot flashes, etc. and not even ovulating. It's just so hard to sit back and do nothing but wait for a match. It feels so out of our hands and that is very frustrating.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Two Months and Counting

2007-10-23T12:45:00.000-05:00

Our profile has now been up for two months and we still have not heard anything. I obsess over our profile count (although I know that a majority of the hits are other prospective adoptive parents looking at profiles so they can do theirs). I read D a Tarzan book yesterday and was able to use it to explain adoption to him. I am not sure he understood but at least it is a start. How do you explain such a concept to a 4 year old? If anyone has dealt with that, I'd appreciate some advice.

I mentioned in my last post that I was going to Las Vegas for a work trip. I had a great time and discovered that I am actually pretty good at Texas Hold'em. I actually won our work-sponsored tournament and got a nice prize.

I have also discovered that old habits die hard. Even though we are extremely excited about adding to our family through adoption, I still keep track of cm and try to time things right just in case. DH went in our hot tub yesterday and I raised my voice at him about it. Of our three pregnancies, two have been DIY so I still have hope.

We took D to his first college football game this past weekend - SMU vs. Tulane (I went to Tulane for law school). The game was fun but D hit a wall right after half time and didn't really pay attention to the game. I think we'll hold off for another few years before we try that again. We'd love to take him to an LSU game (undergrad for both me and DH). Nothing beats Tiger Stadium on a Saturday night!

I realize that this post is all over the place but I hadn't posted in a while so thought I'd post an update.

Still Waiting

2007-09-28T11:16:00.000-05:00

Our profile has been live for about a month now and we havn't heard anything. I knew it would take a while to get a match so I just need to take a deep breath and relax. When it happens it will be the baby meant for us.

In other news, I am going to Vegas next week for a businss trip. I am excited about staying at the Bellagio. I've heard great things about the hotel. C will be a single dad for two nights. I know that he and D will have a great time without me.

Nothing else exciting going on right now.

My Mom

2007-09-15T21:59:00.000-05:00

For some reason I have been thinking about my mom a lot more than usual lately. Its been 3 1/2 years since she died and almost 4 years since her diagnosis. I still miss her so much. I am sad that D never got to know her (she was diagnosed with acute leukemia the week D got out of the NICU). There are a few pictures of her holding D from his first Christmas that I show him occasionally but it really sucks that he missed out on that relationship! I really missed her when I had my m/c last year (she flew in and spent a week with me after my first m/c). As we have struggled to have another baby and moved on to adoption, I miss not having her to support us and be there. Other than Chris, I really don't have anyone to talk to about our struggles.

Anyway, I am not sure why I am thinking about her so much but know that she is looking down on us and smiling at D and wishing us the best of luck as we wait for a match.

We are up and running

2007-08-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

Our adoption marking website is live! I am so excited to actually be starting the process officially. We actually beat my self-imposed deadline too. I don't love all of the pictures that they chose (we sent them a CD with tons of pictures), but they are ok. I am sure that I will be obsessing over the number of hits we get every month. Now we just have to wait until the mother of our future child finds us. Lets hope that it is sooner rather than later.

Impatient

2007-08-20T09:09:00.000-05:00

Its been three weeks today since we e-mailed our marketing material and mailed out our photos for our adoption website. I am really anxious to see the site and get it up and running. It should definitely be ready this week, which is ahead of my personal goal of the end of August. Once it is up and running, we'll be able to log in to see how many hits, etc. we are getting. I hope we don't have to wait too long for a match!

Chemicals in Plastic - Future Infertility Risks

2007-08-17T09:26:00.001-05:00

I read this article in the USA Today on Wednesday that has me worried about D and the countless other baby boys that have spent time in the NICU over the last many years. The article talks about the risk of future infertility issues to newborn males that spend time in the NICU due to a hormone-like chemical(DEHP)in plastic. DEHP is used in feeding tubes and other tubing. D spent 7 weeks in the NICU and had A LOT of tubes. I would not wish infertility issues on my worst enemy and pray that D never has to experience it. They are doing a lot more studies on the chemical but in the meantime a lot of hospitals are pledging to move away from using plastic with DEHP.